I'm tired.

I'm losing myself more and more each day. My anxiety is rearing its ugly head once more and I feel like history is about to repeat itself. Nothing in particular seems to be the cause. I'm just jittery in general.

I'm tired.

Can't I just be happy? Anxiety free? Mentally stable? Why do I have to have up days and down days? Why can't it just be a day?

I'm not complaining. I'm just questioning what has become of my life. It's calm yet emotionally hectic. I don't know what I feel anymore. What am I supposed to feel so that I'm normal? I can't decipher feelings unless it's really happy or really angry/sad. Otherwise, I'm just here. In between. Waiting for the next up or down to come.

I'm tired.

I feel so unstable and I probably am. This does suck and I wish I could be in control of this mess. I don't know exactly how I feel. Am I happy? Sad? Bleh? Mad? What am I feeling? I don't want to feel a mixture of all of those to the point where I'm confused.

I'm tired of all of this. I only want to go back to being me. This *waves hands dramatically in front of self* is not me.


Maybe it is the new me. Maybe I'm going to have to get use to this person. I don't like this person at all though. Not one bit and I'm tired of trying to figure all of this out. I can't wait for therapy day again.

I'm just tired of everything.