lindsay paige

Have you heard about the Heaven and Hell Duet?

Releasing this fall is the Heaven and Hell Duet, which includes Hell and a Hard Place (October 11, 2018) and Light in the Dark (November 8, 2018). My love and excitement for these two books surpasses that of all my books before. I absolutely cannot wait to share this duet with y'all. 

It's a bit of a rollercoaster ride that will definitely bring out some strong emotions and that's all I'll say right now. But be sure to stay tuned and check into my social media for teasers. Read on for the blurb and check out the awesome cover.

What's a girl to do when she's in love with her best friend but she can't have him? Well, I pretend I'm not. I keep my best friend, FC, close and keep my life moving forward. I work. I date. I see my therapist for my mental health issues. But everything always leads back to FC, no matter what I do. The distance between us, FC's secrets, and our own relationships keep us apart while bringing us closer together.

I'm a guy with loads of problems. Where do I even begin? I'm an on-again off-again smoker. I'm an alcoholic. I have a best friend of twelve years who I can't live without, and I only recently met Idaline in person when she let me escape to her house one night. Oh, and did I mention I have an abusive girlfriend? That every day winds up being worse than that last? I'm stuck between hell and a hard place with the dimmest of lights at the end of the tunnel. And that light might not even be there tomorrow. Because things will get worse before they get better.

Get it on Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Kobo

Teaser Tuesday - You Before Me

I'm back with the third You Before Me teaser! If you missed the first two, go here and then come back. Don't forget that you can also read Chapter One. This teaser is in Ryan's POV. All you need to know is that a guy, whose name she can't remember and is referred to as 43, takes her home from a party.

“I'm not feeling well,” I repeat. “Thanks for the ride, but I'm going inside. Alone,” I add.
His lips move up the left side of my neck, so I turn my head to the right by instinct. His hands grip my waist tighter as he puts more of his body weight on me. “Ry,” he starts.
“Ryan.” Seriously? How many times do I have to correct him? “You don't need to try to change my mind. The answer will still be no.”
That makes him stop kissing me. His eyes turn dark as he stares at me, his hold stronger than ever. “No? You didn't hesitate before, Ry. Everyone on campus knows that you're an easy lay and now you're telling me no?”
“I may be easy, but I'm not that easy for you tonight.” I try to push him off me, but it's impossible. He's not budging. “Get off me.” I attempt to make my voice as level as possible, but even I hear how it trembles a little.
“Is there a problem?”
At the sound of his voice, my head snaps to the stairwell. 43 isn't paying him any mind yet. Gabe is standing rigid with his arms by his side, hands in fists, and he is not looking happy at all in his police uniform. His deadly stare is trained on 43. What is he even doing here?

You Before Me will release on June 21, 2014. You can pre-order it for the special price of 99 cents on iTunes or B&N. You can also subscribe to my monthly newsletter to read Chapter Two on June 1st. Be sure to add it on Goodreads and follow the Pinterest board for weekly pins.

I'll be back Thursday with a teaser in Gabe's POV.

Teaser Thursday - You Before Me

Hey, y'all! We're starting today off with not one, but two teasers from You Before Me. Don't forget that you can also read Chapter One. Next week, a teaser will be posted on Tuesday and then Thursday and will continue leading up to the release! I'm so excited and I hope you are too.

These first two teasers are in Gabe's POV and occur at different points during their first date. Enjoy!

At precisely 6:45, I'm standing outside of Ryan's apartment door. She texted me earlier today to let me know which one was hers. I knock twice, faintly able to hear music playing. After the music stops, a moment passes before she answers the door, wearing dark blue jeans and a white strapless bra with a lace design over the cups, and she's currently brushing her teeth.
“Are you ever fully clothed?” I ask with a forced chuckle, trying my best to be a gentleman and not look at her cleavage.
“Sorry,” she mumbles around her toothbrush. Ryan steps aside so I can come inside and runs to finish getting ready. I hear water running and then she calls out, “You shouldn't have had to see that. I should have warned you that I'm always late. Let me throw on a shirt and shoes, and I'll be ready.”
While she does that, I subtly look around her apartment. Books, clothes, and empty bottles of Sunkist are scattered about. It's clean, though. Just a little messy.
“Okay,” Ryan says entering the living room. “I'm ready.”
I turn to see her. Brown boots are peeking from underneath her jeans and she's wearing a white sweater that displays a strong shoulder and collarbone.
“You look great.”
She smiles. “Worth the wait?”
“Definitely.”

And the second teaser:

“What's one of your favorite things to do?”
Without any hesitation whatsoever, the words fly out of her mouth. “Have sex.”
She catches me off guard with her answer, my fork pausing halfway to my mouth. Ryan's eyes widen as if she's just now realizing she said that.
“Shit. I mean, crap. Sorry. That's, um, not a good, ladylike thing to say.” Her cheeks flush a light pink, her eyes focused on her cake. Something tells me this is the first and last time I'll ever see her blush because it doesn't seem like something she does often.


You Before Me will release June 21, 2014. You can subscribe to my newsletter to read Chapter Two on June 1st. You can also pre-order the book for the special price of 99 cents on iTunes or B&N. Be sure to add it on Goodreads and follow the Pinterest board for weekly pins.

That's it for this week. New teaser coming your way next Tuesday!

Happy Birthday to Bartley! (FREE Books for Everyone!)


Today, my little cuddly buddy turns two! (January will mark two years since I've had him.) I honestly think my life has been better because of this little guy. He's a constant source of cuteness. He loves to cuddle. He winks at me! He's playful. But most importantly, he makes me so happy and he can make me laugh when I don't feel like it. Bartley is my best friend and I'm very happy to have him. Happy birthday, Bartley!

Let's celebrate by making my books FREE! 

That's right! I'm making all of my books (the Bold as Love seriesDon't Panic, and Breakaway) free today only! Be sure to snag a copy if you haven't done so yet.

Happy reading, everyone!

An Anxiety-Related Update (Warning: Long Post Ahead)

It's been a while since I've posted an update on myself and my anxiety. That's mostly because I'm in one of those good periods where my anxiety is low. I've been doing well. It's been a good few months with this period and when I realized this, my anxiety flared a little. It's like when you realize things have been going well and it seems a little too good to be true so you start waiting for the pen to drop.

That's where I'm at right now. One sign of my anxiety rising is having trouble sleeping. None of that, thank goodness. However, another sign is that I have a reading/writing slump. The last time I read a book was July 12th, which was a little over two weeks ago. Writing has been a bit of a struggle as well. Some scenes that shouldn't take long to write are taking forever. Why? Because most of the time, my mind goes blank and I stare at the screen until I can get my thoughts together long enough to write another paragraph. Then my mind blanks again. Sometimes, I even stop mid-sentence.

Talk about frustrating. Especially when I have a goal that I would like to meet this year. Part of me is pretty sure that these little signs are due to the never-failing reason behind 96% of my anxiety.

School.

It's almost August and I register on the 13th and start on the 19th. I'm still pretty excited to be going back. I'm ready for the work, the routine, the stability of knowing what I will be doing two days of every week while doing the rest online. I am a little worried about how taking 7 classes (3 face-to-face, 4 online) will interfere with my writing time. Like I said, I have goals I want to meet.

That's my biggest worry at the moment. I'm feeling good about the classes at campus because my BFF will be in those classes too. I'm not the least bit concerned about the online classes. Nevertheless, the process has started once more. I'm not reading and my writing is a constant struggle lately.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before, but those two things are crucial to my everyday life. Both are therapeutic escapes that I need, especially in regards to my anxiety. If I'm not doing either, then my anxiety is not in a good place and there is a good chance that I'm on the train to Crazy Town.

For now, I'm happy that I'm aware of the little changes that I need to keep an eye on and I'm going to push myself to read a little and keep writing. Once I really get going, then it won't be such a struggle and I'll be happier.

These posts are always so long, but I wanted to write an update, especially since it's been a while since my last one. Until next time, happy reading y'all!

I Use "Um" Instead of Names

I don't know why or how I came to realize this, but here's a post where you can learn something about me that you didn't know. When I'm around people that I've just met or that I'm not around all the time, I avoid saying their name. I will start my sentence with "um" to keep from saying their name. Why? Well, I have this irrational fear that I may either say the wrong name or mispronounce the name. It's crazy, I know, but it doesn't stop me from doing it.

For example, my BFF has been my BFF for almost 11 years. I've never said her grandparents name in front of her grandparents or to her grandparents. Being friends for 11 years means that I've been around her family quite a bit, especially with how I almost always go with her to visit them. It never fails though. I'll say their name or her and the rest of her family, but if I have to ask them a question or anything, I'll say, "Um, can I...?"

Yes, I know what their name is. Yes, I can easily pronounce it. No, I won't say their name out loud around them. I even do this for a period of time when I get new teachers. It's weird, right? I worry about the oddest things, I swear. There are a couple of other stuff that I have weird reactions too, but I won't get into that today. One admission is good for now, don't you think?

That's my story on how I use "um" instead of names. Do you have irrational, seemingly silly fears? Do you have a way of getting around it? Let's hear it!

New Prices!


Hey everyone! I hope you all are having a wonderful day. I'm posting to let you know about the new ebook prices for the Bold as Love series.

Sweetness is now 99 cents.
I'm Yours is now $1.99.
Whatever It Takes is now $2.99.

All of the books in the series that will come after Whatever It Takes will be priced at $2.99 as well. The prices are already in effect on Amazon and should change on the other sites soon as well. For a full list of sites that sell my books, visit my website.

DON'T PANIC synopsis

I finally have a synopsis to share with you all for DP. I hope you like it and that it intrigues you about the book, which will release Oct. 8th. If this sounds like your kind of read, don't forget to add it to your shelf on Goodreads!

On to the synopsis:


Samantha Branson is having severe anxiety attacks. Her heart beats unusually fast, her breath quickens and her hands sweat. Every detail screams in her head that she is the center of unwanted attention. Everyone can hear her thoughts, her heart and her breathing. The silence of the classroom is so loud that focus is impossible.
After an attack lands her in the wrong bathroom, Sam meets Eli who offers to provide help. Faced with the return of her possessive ex-boyfriend and the blossoming of a new romance, Sam must find the strength inside herself to face her anxieties head on.

DON'T PANIC! I have a teaser for you!

See? I think that was pretty clever of me, that title. Anyways, every Saturday between now and October 8th, I'm going to share a teaser from Don't Panic. I really hope y'all enjoy this feature and that it gets you excited about the book. Don't forget to add it to your shelf on Goodreads!

I'm thrilled to be writing this book because I have so many expectations for it and I want it to be a tool to show other teens with anxiety that they are not alone. Plus, I have enjoyed writing this book. It has been helpful for me and my anxiety as well.

On to the teaser!*



Every single day, I walk into my classroom and get this urge to leave. It’s impossible to ignore. The longer I ignore it, the more prominent it is and the harder it is to pretend it isn’t there. It’s even worse when I have to speak or stand in front of everyone. All of a sudden, these things that didn’t bother me do. I have no control and I barely want to leave the house to go to school.
I freeze as I hear water rushing out of a faucet.
What are you doing in here,” a boy asks as he rounds the corner and sees me. “Are you okay?” he adds seeing my frantic expression.
Oh, no. I’m in the boys bathroom.


*Please note that these teasers are may not end up being in the final product of this book. Changes may be made. Please do not quote these teasers until you have checked against the final version.

Techniques

Since I'm sharing with you my triggers, I figured that if anyone else with anxiety is reading this, I don't want to discourage them. Therefore, I have to share some techniques on how to deal with it. All of the following help me deal with anxiety. They could help you too. It's worth a try.
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When I was in school and struggling, my "technique" was to dig my nails into my skin, using the pain as a distraction. While it worked for like 2.5 seconds, depending on the pressure I placed, it isn't a good technique. But here are some good ones:
  • Counting. I'm dead serious. Counting saved me one day. This serves as a distraction and allows you to calm down. I would count in sets of ten or one hundred depending on the severity. It didn't always get rid of the attack completely, but it helped. Even just a tiny bit is worth a try.
  • Positive Self-Talking. Throw away all of those negative thoughts and start thinking positively. Tell yourself that you can make it through this. Remind yourself of any accomplishments you've made with your anxiety. This also distracts your mind from the attack and could help.
  • Believe in yourself. You can't just tell yourself these things. Believing is part of the trick!
  • Cut back on the caffeine. You wouldn't believe how much caffeine plays a part in triggering attacks. Cutting back on this could mean cutting back on attacks.
  • Eat right. Being healthy plays a part too.
  • Massages. My personal favorite technique is to go out, once or twice a month, and get a massage. This is the ultimate relaxation technique for me. Being relaxed means not being uptight as often which will help you stay in control.
  • Breathe. Make sure you are breathing normally. Heightened breathing or slowing down how often you inhale and exhale can effect your attack as well. Take nice, slow, deep and even breaths.
Those are just a few techniques. Hopefully, they will help you. 

Please note that I'm not a professional and that taking my advice should not interfere with getting/taking professional help. I'm only trying to let other gain a better understanding and to help others know they are not alone. 

Cycle of Anxiety and an Example


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Anxiety starts as a simple thought. It then grows into more thoughts until it's all your are thinking about. Next, it stirs negative emotions within you and then you take action. Here is an example to help you better understand the cycle.

I'm sitting at my desk in school and the teacher is lecturing on some topic. A thought of how it's quiet and there's a test coming up. (Thoughts) I don't like silence. What if people can hear whatever noise I'm making? Why is everyone looking at me, even though their backs are turned? My stomach hurts. I don't feel good. I'm ready to get out of this room. (Emotions) The intensity rises and soon, I can't stand it any longer. I have tried and I can't do it any more. I get up and bolt out of the room. (Actions)

That's a sucky, but hopefully, good enough example. If you have a better example, please share!

Day One of Triggers

imgres.jpgI did a post a while back on a few triggers of mine. The triggers included silence around others, drive-thrus, pumping gas, and crowds. That post was done during a time when I had hardly no anxiety going on. I figured it's time for a more in-depth post about my triggers. This is to help others understand me and my anxiety more and as a mechanism for me to better know exactly what I'm scared of. Each day, I will go in-depth about a trigger of mine.

First, I thought it would be beneficial to see a generalized list of triggers that I found from The Reality of Anxiety, a blog I have become addicted to.


  • Play the What if Game and other negative self talk- Setting Ourselves up for Failure
  • Poor Self Esteem- thinking we're not worthy enough to be around others and be liked for who we are
  • Put too much pressure on ourselves to be "perfect" for others or not to have an attack
  • Focus on ourselves more than those around us
  • Eat poorly, drink a lot of caffeine
  • Do not exercise and or meditate regularly
  • Full Exposure to our phobias instead of baby steps
  • Do not get enough rest at night
  • Hold in our feelings
  • Do not focus on breathing deeply

  • All of the above are triggers that help set my anxiety in action. You'd be surprised at how often I've had to skip my caffeine love of energy drinks because it would cause me 3 days worth of anxiety. Let's get started, shall we?


    No_School.jpgSchool environment. As you may have noticed from my last two posts, school is an enormous trigger for me. Sometimes, I can't handle driving by one, much less going into one. Just yesterday, I felt sick to my stomach because I was in the parking lot of a local high school, waiting on my nephew. I feel like I could throw up just mentioning it! 


    High school was unbearable, especially my last year. I missed three weeks in a row because I couldn't find the energy to get out of bed or move. Anyways, being in the school environment causes me to panic.


    I start wondering if the students around me can hear the not always audible noises I'm making. The click of my pen, the scratch of my pencil on paper, the creak of my chair as my legs continue to bounce up and down and I continuously rearrange myself. All these noises and some that aren't really there are so loud in my head. My head starts pounding; my heart beats faster; my ears hurt; and I feel faint. All of those things begin happening at once with such intensity. 


    I've always been the child to make good grades. The pressure I placed on myself to excel in school did not bode well with my anxiety. Especially when I took two AP classes at once. Never again will I take an AP class. 


    Me+AP classes=tons upon tons of anxiety. 


    I remember one day, I got my report card and had to keep myself from crying in class as I looked it over because I had a couple of C's. There's no telling how much stress I had over that. I finished with a 2.6 GPA. Before my anxiety started becoming so severe, it was a 3.7. I don't know how to explain how much that bothers me. A carefree Lindsay does not exist. No matter what I say, I care about my grades and that 2.6 is killing me on the inside. 


    All this talk has left me exhausted. Hopefully, that's a good enough insight. :)


    Yesterday's Attack Follow-Up

    I emailed that post to my therapist and I'm waiting to hear back from her. My attack ended shortly after that post, thank goodness. However, I'm still experiencing physical side effects from my anxiety over this problem.

    Here's how I see it, now that I'm fully rational...or at least I think so. Once I started getting better, I promised myself that even if I knew that I could survive the attack, because I can do so, that I wouldn't put myself in situations that I knew would cause a severe attack. Even if I can get through it, I didn't want to have to experience the mental and physical effects that the attack would have on me. In my opinion, nothing is worth going through that.

    Not new experiences. Not meeting new people. Not an education that would better my life, because I can find a way to get that without physically being at a school.

    I know, I know. Having this level over anxiety is ridiculous, but that's how it works for me. I freak out over something most people have no trouble dealing with. Sure, it's normal to have a little anxiety about starting college, but not like what I am beginning to experience once more.

    Something has changed. I'm not sure what triggered it, but it has happened. I used to see it as a test of sorts. It was me testing my limits and seeing how long I could last in a certain situation before I gave in to the anxiety and how that was a good thing. However, now it's like I don't care about that anymore.

    I'm back to where I was a year ago. Where my MC in Don't Panic is right now. I just want it to stop and be over with. I want a quick, permanent fix, not a subtle fix that will last until the next one. I'm right back to feeling that if I don't 'have' to deal with it, that I shouldn't go through it.

    Right now, in my eyes, college and being there physically is not a must. There are other options and right now, I want to take that other option. I don't want to go through these attacks again. It doesn't matter that I can survive them and tackle them. The mental angst is not worth it.

    Sometimes, I feel like Emily and that y'all (and the other people in my life) are Jake. It's like no matter how good I do, there's always a setback that follows. There's always someone out there to support me through these tough times, but I feel like eventually, you will get tired of being that support. Just like Emily feels Jake will get tired of being the strong one of the two. Just like Emily feels that Jake will get tired of how she operates, so to speak, and will get fed up with the constant ups and downs. But that is how it is with a person with anxiety. We have ups and downs all the time. Sometimes, more often than not.

    If people stop reading these posts and commenting words of encouragement, I'll understand completely.  I guess that goes to show just how much like Emily I am. I rather deal with it alone than cause trouble to others. Even though, we both see that dealing with it alone is not always the right choice.

    Claire and those photos: EXTRA SCENE

    If you have read Sweetness, you immediately know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, then I suggest that you read no further because it's about to get spoilerly.

    A lot of people who have read Sweetness wonder how Claire got her hands on those pictures. Well, I'm here to tell you how.

    Claire decided she was going to dig into Emily's past and see what she could find. Thanks to having to do an introduction in each class, Emily shared what town she moved from. Claire did a little research and found Judy, Emily's mom.

    Read the following extra scene to learn how it happened:

    Claire knocks on the door of the home of Emily's mother. A dishelved woman opens the door, straggering. Claire notes that her hand tightens on the door knob as Judy struggles to stand.

    "What do you want," Judy slurs.

    "I'm a friend of Emily's. Can I come in and talk to you?"

    "That little whore. C'mon in, I guess."

    Claire wrinkles her nose at the smell of a house that hasn't been cleaned in a while. Dirty dishes are scattered about. Rotten food is left in the dishes and flies are buzzing around. Carefully, as if she might catch a disease, Claire takes a seat on the couch.

    "Did you know my daughter is a whore? She convinced my husband to divorce me and then she goes sleeping around!"

    Claire watches Judy carefully as the older woman moves about, obviously searching for something.

    "You don't believe me, do you? You want proof?"

    Claire perks up and nods, never speaking a word because she was a bit afraid to inhale. Judy begins the search, shoving papers and dishes aside until she pulls out a dusty envelope. Curtly, Judy hands them over to Claire.

    Jackpot. Claire finds several naked picture of Emily. This is her chance to expose Emily for what she really is: a good-for-nothing whore. Maybe, after she posted the pictures all over school, Jake would finally see that Emily is not the right girl for him.

    "Do you mind if I take these?"

    "I don't care!"

    "Who are you again," Judy asks. "Why are you here? Get out of my house!"

    With that, Claire quickly leaves.

    Major Update on the Bold As Love series

    For me, this is a major update on the series. Last night, I decided it was time to hunker down and decide the future of these books. I began to outline the main happenings in for each book. This allows me to know how I'm going to get to the point where I want Jake and Emily's story to end.

    Man. Typing that was hard. *sigh*

    It has to be done though. I outlined and outlined until I came to where I know the story is going to end. Therefore, it is time to answer the question:
    How many books are going to be in the series?
    The answer to that is this.

    There will be 9 books total in the Bold As Love series.

    Character Creation

    Ever wonder how a writer creates their character's personalities? Lifestyles? I know that I sometimes wonder that. Today, I thought I would share how I create my characters.

    Usually, they are already formed when I think of the idea. I know exactly how they will behave. Other times, I must give them personalities. There are three ways that these characters are formed.

    Family, friends, and myself. Those who know me personally and have read Sweetness say that they can see a lot of me in Emily. Why? Because I gave Emily a lot of similar traits, as you may have noticed in the comparisons I did. Drake has a lot of characteristics as my nephews, one in particular. Jake was formed partially from the traits I liked in previous love interests. Therefore, a certain part of all my characters derive from those I know.*

    Imagination. Isn't this where it really boils down to? Actually, I believe fantasy is a better word. As you may know, most of my books come from where I daydream to fall asleep. I create different lives that, even with the bad, I could see myself living. It's like imaginary friends that exist in a world in my head. You may as well say that I write to place myself in different situations to see how it turns out and the different choices one could make. However, once I get started, the characters sometimes go in a completely different direction than I originally planned.

    Magic. As I've said, sometimes the personalities are just there. I can't change too many traits that a character has because, in my head, they are already who they are meant to be and if I change that, then everything else could be altered in their story.

    *Note: That is not always the case. Sometimes, my characters form completely on their own based on their life experiences.

    When I Need Inspiration I...

    Inspiration is hard to come by sometimes. I have a couple of different techniques to help me become inspired. Today, I'm going to share those with you.

    • Listen to music. Pretty much any kind of music. My favorites range from country to R&B to rap to rock to the oldies.
    • My family. Sometimes, I get inspired by what is happening in our lives.
    • Reading. This should be first. Reading is the best way to get inspired. When I read a wonderful book, motivation sets in and I'm off to my laptop.
    • Quotes. Quotes are a fantastic source of inspiration. They really get my mind going.
    • Pictures. What a great way to wonder what the story is behind a picture and then creating it.
    These are my top five resources for inspiration. What inspires you?

    Ask the Characters

    It's Monday and a question has been submitted for Emily. If you have a question for one of the characters, click on the tab above and submit it. It could be answered next Monday. Hopefully, everyone will have a merry Monday instead of a moody Monday.

    Q: Why do you keep worrying over your mom? I understand how she treated you better than you think but Jake loves you why didnt you trust him?
    A: It was hard to not worry over my mom. It was even harder to trust someone that I just met after experiencing what I did. I'm sorry that you understand so well how she treated me. I've come to learn that trust is earned over time. Hope this answers your questions.